RE: - Week 1 - The leader you aspire to be and the leader you aspire not to become
I am attempting to find the correct wording for this phrase.
In focusing on this specific skill, I will remain a calmer and happier person, which will result in happier employees.
You want to change the first word to by. The word specific might be redundant. I assume that the previous sentence described the skill you are talking about. "This skill" may suffice. Adding the word "specific" can give added emphasis, though.
I don't know if you mean you are focusing on a skill that you have or that the people you lead have, so it is difficult to rewrite the sentence. [Food for thought: I have studied quite a bit about leadership. There are many (many!) opinions out there about what good leadership is or is not. I would venture to say that most good leaders will tell you that they do not focus on any one skill or characteristic about themselves or the people they lead. Perhaps you don't mean you will focus on that one skill, but instead meant to say that this skill will help you lead in a certain way.]
To rewrite part of your sentence, I might say that my calm and happy demeanor can result in calmer and happier employees. I might also say that it can create a more pleasant work environment or culture, which is an indirect way to say that employees will be happier.
|link comment||answered Mar 17 '14 at 01:14 Patty T Grammarly Fellow|
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