corporate business structure is fine
corporate, business structure is not what I intended, I was trying to state corporate business structure
is not corporate business structure correct if I am referring to that type of business structure?
There is unfortunately, even today, racial injustice and the seeds for racial violence found in 'institutional and structural expressions' which means that racism can be unfortunately found in our government, courts and in our corporate business structure.
There is a great deal of redundancy in your sentence, including "corporate business." Either use corporate structure or business structure.
You use "unfortunately" twice.
The sentence is in the present tense. That includes today. I know you are trying to stress that it still exists, but there are better, less wordy, ways to do that.
Are there seeds for violence other than racial injustice, or is racial injustice a seed for violence. Yes, I know there is more than one, but I don't think this sentence is referring to more than the one.
There is no need to put "institutional and structural expressions" in quotes unless you are quoting a source that has coined a phrase. I really can't quite figure out what "institutional and structural expressions" is supposed to mean. Institutions have structures. It sounds like a phrase that someone made up to sound like they are saying something important. That leads me to think that you are quoting someone. If so, you can keep the quotes if you include a citation, but I would get rid of it.
Courts are part of governments.
The second half of your sentence, starting with which, simply restates the first half of the sentence. If you don't think the reader can understand the first half of the sentence, then you should just write it in terminology the reader will comprehend. Saying the same thing twice is unecessary.
Unfortunately, racial unjustice, a seed for racial violence, can still be found today in social and institutional structures.
|link comment||edited Jan 20 '14 at 01:32 Patty T Grammarly Fellow|
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