This study would likely lead to a ‘positive social change’.


What is incorrect about this sentence?

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This study would likely lead to a 'positive social change', see ), because this study could be used by the public policy administrators including city planners in emphasizing these variables including educational and job training and creation programs which may be highly correlated with controlling and diminishing racism and racial violence decreasing the prevalence of those variables highly correlated with causing racist activities including causing racial violence.
asked Jan 19 '14 at 22:27 Russell Peck New member

1 answer


Your sentence is extremely wordy and missing a lot of punctuation. Just as with the other question you posted, you don't need quotation marks around a phrase unless you are quoting a source.


I assume that the word "see" and single parenthesis mark is an error of cutting & pasting something that doesn't belong.


Because of the missing punctuation, you lost me around the first "including." Break this up into various sentences, each with a cohesive thought.

link comment edited Jan 20 '14 at 17:58 Patty T Grammarly Fellow

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