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In the administrative role of senior teacher and head of department at "my" school, an important part of my practice is to motivate those teachers in my charge as they carry out their daily tasks.

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In the administrative role of senior teacher and head of department at "my" school, an important part of my practice is to motivate those teachers in my charge as they carry out their daily tasks.
asked Jan 19 at 16:51 Esmin Davis-Spence New member

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Your sentence is wordy and sounds a bit pretentious.

 

Generally, the head of a department is the most senior teacher and has an administrative role. You don't need to say all three.  There is no reason to put "my" in quotes here.  Actually, "at my school" is unecessary. We can assume that you are head of department at the school where you work. 

 

"My practice" usually refers to someone's business entity.  It doesn't fit here.

 

"In my charge" sounds like you are babysitting or lording over your fellow teachers. 

 

"As they carry out their daily tasks" means that you are performing your action (motivating) while they are doing their daily tasks.  I doubt you are standing next to them in the classroom whispering, "You can do this!" Is it your job to motivate them to actually do their daily tasks?  That doesn't quite sound right, either.  It sort of implies that they would not do anything if you didn't personaly provide motivation every day.  They should really have some motivation on their own.  Perhaps you help them maintain their motivation, keep up the morale of the department,  or increase enthusiasm for the job.

 

An important role as head of the science department is to help my fellow teachers maintain their motivation and enthusiasm every day.

link comment answered Jan 19 at 17:33 Patty T Grammarly Fellow

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