English Draft

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After having had a miday meal, I tried to pay the check, but my wallet was possibly taken because I could not find it.

Now my friend will have to pay the check, because my wallet is lost with my money and some of my documents.

See example:

She paid the bill, and we went back to her apt, which was located in an old part of Madrid, it was a one bedroom apt with a small living room area, which she had decorated with beautiful silk golden curtains, with a purple moiré fabric sleeping couch that adorn the living room, in which I slept very comfortable during the two weeks I was there.
asked Apr 04 '12 at 01:02 Ana M Pena New member

Jeff, I appreciate your help, and I was able to see it in a better interpretation.Thanks, Ana

Ana M PenaApr 04 '12 at 14:01

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There are a number of problems with these sentences, and I'm sure that I will  not cover all here.

 

"Miday" should be "midday". "Apt" should be "apartment" as abbreviations should be avoid in formal writing.

 

"Having had" is correct but awkward. I would suggest replacing it with "after eating our midday ..." The past perfect tense  "had" is not always required if the order of the action clear.

 

The first sentence properly uses the comma + conjunction "but" to join two independent clauses. However, the thought rambles and then is partially repeated by the next sentence. Suggest rewritting as (and I'll suggest a usage that conservative grammarians abhor):

 

"After eating our midday meal, I tried to pay the check. But my wallet was gone, along with my money and documents! My friend had to pay the check."

 

While the conservatives object to using the conjunctions "but" and "and" to start a sentence, other usage experts say such constructions have a long history in English and are effective for emphasis -- such as I tried abve. If your teacher insists on formality, "however" is the proper substitute.

 

Your last sentence is a multiple run-on. Put a period after Madrid and capitalize "It". See below for other suggested corrections. I have omitted some redundancies.

 

"It was a one-bedroom apartment with a small living room, which she had decorated with beautiful gold silk curtains and a purple-moiré sleeping couch.  I slept there comfortably during my two week visit."

 

English is not as rigid as other languages when it comes to determining their order in a series, but there are some general rules. "Beautiful silk golden curtains" should be "beautiful golden silk curtains." Generally, subjective observations "beautiful" come before color "golden" and color comes before material "silk".

 

A more complete discussion of the order of adjectives can be found at http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/adjectives.htm

link edited Apr 04 '12 at 04:36 Jeff Pribyl Grammarly Fellow

I do like traditional grammar, but your use of the 'but' here conveys perfectly the surprise and interruption that comes with discovering your wallet is missing, especially with the exclamation mark at the end. Ana, as Jeff says, if your teacher insists on it being 'correct' you should use 'however' or, if you want to retain a shade of emotion, you could use a word like 'surprisingly', 'worryingly' or even 'mysteriously'.

Siân HarrisApr 04 '12 at 10:58

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