Coordinating an event


I am working with someone on putting together a transportation plan, and would like to say: as we work together to establish a transportation plan....

See example:

In an effort to put together a transportation plan for students as I gather commitments for their attendance to the event on Thursday, I need your input.
asked Nov 10 '13 at 13:18 Kayla R. Hogan New member

2 answers


You really have two introductory clauses -- "In a effort ,,," and "as I gather ..," -- mashed together into a single sentence. Perhaps you need to express this as two separate sentences. "As you know, I am working to develop a student transportation plan. I need you input as I gather commitments ..." I hope this helps.

link comment answered Nov 11 '13 at 16:17 Jeff Pribyl Grammarly Fellow

Actually, Jeff,

"In an effort" is a prepositional phrase.

"to put together a plan" is an infinitive phrase acting adjectivally to modify the noun "effort".

"for students" is a prepositional phrase acting adjectivally to modify the noun "plan".


You are correct that "as I gather" is his first (dependent) clause; however, he did not 'mash' two clauses together. 

It is the only dependent clause in his sentence, and I thought it did a fantastic job of showing temporal concurrence with the introductory -phrase-.


Also, he was correct in using "an effort" and not "a effort".


To return to the question.


If you do rephrase your sentence as "As we work together to establish...", you WILL have the exact problem Jeff alluded to; two introductory adverb clauses.


You would have to alter the second adverb clause for continuity:

"As we work together to establish a transportation plan for students and gather commitments for attendance to the event..."

As you can see I eliminated the second dependent clause entirely and formed a compound predicate.

This would be one way of accomplishing the alteration you requested.




link comment edited Nov 12 '13 at 02:22 Aaron Prejean Expert

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