sentance below

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still having trouble fixing it.

See example:

One hundred and twenty women that are inpatients in a hospital in china are recruited for a randomized, controlled study.
asked Nov 03 '13 at 00:43 marta young New member

1 answer


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I noticed that you said you are still having trouble, so I looked to see if you asked this question before.  Lo & behold, you asked it three times in a few minutes!  Please note:  This is a public forum to discuss grammar.  It is not part of a paid service.  There are no employees here.  It is open to the public for anyone to participate.  There is no sense of urgency.  I happened to log on shortly after you posted this question.  Asking a question over and over will not get you an answer any faster. 

 

Also note that sentence does not have the letter a in it. 

 

 

 

You can cut down on some wordiness at the beginning: One hundred and twenty female hospital patients.

 

China is a proper noun and should be capitalized. 

 

Check your tense.  When discussing a study, the participants were probably chosen in the past, or they will be chosen in the future.  When you use the present tense, it is as if you are reporting the action as it happens.

 

Recruited isn't quite the right word for this context.  Though it can be used, it usually is used in more of a military sense.  I suggest using chosen or selected instead. 

 

"Randomized, controlled study" doesn't sound quite right to me.  I am wondering if the women were chosen at random as the control group for the study. 

link comment edited Nov 03 '13 at 01:19 Patty T Grammarly Fellow

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