faulty parallelism

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n conclusion, encouraging infant male circumcision it is not a prudent public health intervention in response to the increased rates of heterosexually transmitted HIV in Australia where evidence of its protective effect is limited and homosexually transmitted HIV accounts for the majority of incidence and prevalent rates.

See example:

In conclusion, encouraging infant male circumcision it is not a prudent public health intervention in response to the increased rates of heterosexually transmitted HIV in Australia where evidence of its protective effect is limited and homosexually transmitted HIV accounts for the majority of incidence and prevalent rates.
asked Mar 22 '12 at 20:09 Noela Chicuecue New member

1 answer


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Grammarly is objecting to the use of the present tense "is" at the start of the sentence followed by two past participle "trasmitted".  Logic and grammar wants the past to occur before the present.

 

In my own writing, I find this often occurs when I use jargon without thinking.

 

Instead of "rates of heterosexually transmitted HIV " use "rate of heterosexual HIV transmission"; together with the similar "homosexual HIV transmission", your verbs will be all in the present.  Also, "rates" should be the singular "rate".

link answered Mar 22 '12 at 21:54 Jeff Pribyl Grammarly Fellow

Hi, Jeff. "Heterosexually-transmitted" appears to be an adverb-verb construction, but it is a single, hyphenated adjective modifying HIV. I'm surprised Grammarly called it a past tense verb. As long as this construction is used as an adjective, it can't be changed.

TolleyMar 22 '12 at 21:58

You are right, Tolley. I suppose I saw the tree and not the forest. I suspect that because the original
was not hyphenated (correctly according to the rule about adverbs ending in -ly), the program did
not "see" it as an adjective. Then, I too, failed to see it as I ran down the verb tense path.

Although Grammarly does a better job than most software, it is still just software that doesn't
understand the content. For instance, em-dashes give it fits. European-style dates (dd mmm yyyy), surprisingly, cause problems.

Thanks for pointing it out.

Jeff PribylMar 22 '12 at 23:27

Always glad to nag.

TolleyMar 23 '12 at 00:21

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