I need help rephrasing the following sentence. It sounds really awkward to my ears...
"For the past 5 years, I’ve taught a rigorous College Writing course to seniors with tremendous success."
I believe the awkwardness here comes from the squinting modifier "to seniors". In both the original and Rahul's suggestion, it is not clear whether the quality "tremendous success" belongs to the subject's teaching or to the seniors. What if we changed "with tremendous success" to "with low grade-point averages". Because we understand that GPA is a quality that belongs to students and not teachers, we see past the awkwardness and understand the sentence. But, both teachers and students can have "success", so we puzzle over the meaning.
This awkwardness frequently occurs when the modifier is separated from its subject. I suggest relocating "with tremendous success" as either " ... been successfully teaching ..." or " ... been teaching, with tremdous success, a rigorous ..."
|link comment||answered Mar 21 '12 at 15:08 Jeff Pribyl Grammarly Fellow|
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