My version: Just before the lift could reach the third floor, the wire is believed to have snapped, bringing the elevator crashing down. ( Appeared in the Times of India)
Mr. Lewis says: The cable is believed to have snapped just before the lift reached the third floor, which brought the elevator crashing down.
Please analyze the different parts of speech.
Functionally, you have the same sentence:
"Before the lift could reach the third floor" (your adverb clause)
"...before the lift reached the third floor" (his adverb clause)
"the wire is believed to have snapped" (your independent clause)
"The cable is believed to have snapped" (his independent clause)
The bolded section has the same functional purpose:
You used a participial phrase to describing what the "snapping" caused.
Mr. Neidhardt used a dependent clause to describe the event.
Functionally, both are acceptable.
Most likely the reason he thought you needed the verb alteration is for parallellism:
"...the cable snapped...(and)...brought the elevator down..."
he probably thought this sounded more parallel than
"...the wire snapped...(and)...bringing the elevator down..."
However, you used the correct form for a participle, so it should more properly be assessed like this:
"...the wire snapped...bringing the elevator down..."
This is not a compound predicate and does not need to be assessed as such.
Honestly, I disagree with both of you. If I were trying to make it parallel like Mr. Niedhardt, I would use clear parallelism. If I were going to use verbals, like you, I would not mix them (infinitive-to have & participle-bringing):
"...is believed to have (snapped) and (brought) the elevator crashing down..."
This is parallel and it uses one verbal form (infinitive).
It may sound like "brought" is improperly conditional, but it is conditioned on the cable snapping as the causal event, not the event itself.
I might also considering make it exactly like Mr. Neiderhardt has it, but with the dependent clause directly next to what it modifies:
"...is believed to have snapped, which brought the elevator..."
|link||edited Oct 04 at 04:33 Aaron Prejean Expert|
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