Is this good English?
Leigh is a mischievous moth that loves fluttering around dangerous thing until she flutters around fire and got burnt.
Put an 's' on 'thing' and everything is fine. 'Mischievous moth' and 'flutters around fire' is good alliteration. You want 'flutters' and 'got burnt' to agree in tense. Either 'fluttered' and 'got burnt' or 'flutters' and 'gets burnt'.
Leigh is a mischievous moth that loves fluttering around dangerous things until she fluttered around fire and got burnt.
|link||edited Oct 02 '13 at 19:04 Lewis Neidhardt Grammarly Fellow|
Actually there's some tense confusion in there as well. It should either be in the present or in the past completely. Also, I am assuming that Leigh is a person, or at least a personified animal (because you can't really ascribe love to animal instinct) so it's better to use "who" than "that"
Leigh is a mischevious moth who loves fluttering around dangerous things until she flutters around fire and gets burnt.
Leigh was a mischevious moth who loved fluttering around dangerous things until she fluttered around fire and got burnt.
|link||answered Oct 02 '13 at 18:29 Meredith Avila New member|
Hero of the day
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