Cannot understand what the problem is.


I know there is something wrong with the grammar in this text, but I cannot understand what it is.

See example:

The article by Caitlin Kirkwood is based on the findings in the articles entitled 'Sucrose activates human taste pathways differently from artificial sweetener' (Frank G.K.W., Oberndorfer T.A., Simmons A.N., Paulus M.P., Fudge J.L., Yang T.T. & Kaye W.H. (2008), published in the Scientific Journal - NeuroImage and 'Altered processing of sweet taste in the brain of diet soda drinkers' (Green E. & Murphy C. (2012), published in the Scientific Journal - Physiology and Behavior.
asked Sep 25 '13 at 05:50 Manan Kohli New member

1 answer


The sentence is difficult to follow.  It looks like the type of sentence one might include in a paper for the sole purpose of increasing word count. 


Caitlin Kirkwood is responsible for citing her own sources.  You can certainly discuss where she got her information, if there is some reason that you need to, but you don't need to cite both her and her sources.  Either use the source material (as she did) or her article - not both.


You need to figure out how to properly cite your sources.  The format style is sightly different - depending on which style guide you should be usine.  You have some punctuation problems here because you use a begining parenthesis mark before the authors' names, and then another of the same before the date.  Each beginning one needs a matching end one, but you only have one end one for every two beginning parentheses. 


Your reference page should show the name of the articles, the authors, where it was published, and the date.  You are trying to include all of that within the text, which is the wrong place.  Instead, you should briefly refer to the source and the citation will point the reader to the reference page for the rest of the information.  If you are using Kirkwood's article as a resource, you need to include a citation after her name as well.


The journals that the two source articles were in are called NeuroImage and Physiology & Behavior.  "Scientific Journal" is not part of the name and not a proper noun.  It should not be capitalized.  Note that an ampersand is not recommended for formal writing, but it IS part of the name of the journal, so should be used in this instance.


The names of magazines or journals should be italicized.


If you are only using Kirkwood as a resource, you would write something like this:


The article by Caitlin Kirkwood (2013) is based on findings from articles in the scientific journals NeuroImage and Physiology & Behavior.


I only have the date in parentheses in that sentence.  That is sometimes the proper way to cite the source when the author's name is used within the sentence.  You might need to add a page or paragraph number.  Your style guide will tell you.  If the author's name is not within the sentence, the citation might look something like this: (Kirkwood, 2013). 


If you are using the findings from the two articles as a resource, with no new information added by Kirkwood, then it may be best to not even use her article at all.  If you can cite the original source, that it usually best.  Put the source information in the text wherever it best fits. 

link comment answered Sep 25 '13 at 07:03 Patty T Grammarly Fellow

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