As requested by you, I have evaluated all the answer sheets and submitted to the person concerned on Monday. As far as I know, all the formalities have been completed from my end. I further request you to process the payment of my salary due to me. I thank the College and my colleagues for the generous help and support given to me during my tenure of service. I would like to convey my best wishes for the success and growth of the College. I thank you for your attention into this mater and look forward to your reply.
Since you are clearly writing to this individual "by you" is unnecessary.
"the person concerned on Monday" does not read the way you wanted it to.
"the concerned party"
"the person you requested"
Also, if you place the verb at the end as you have it now, I suggest you relocate your prepositional phrase so that it doesn't read "concerned on Monday"
You could do this by staying,
"...sheets and, on Monday, submitted them to..."
"I further request you to process the payment"
You have a noun clause direct object, and you are not writing it correctly.
"I further request that you process the payment"
or drop the subordinator
"I further request you process the payment"
Either way, an infinitive can't replace your verb.
"my salary due to me" sounds awkward
"all due salary" etc. would be an improvement
"I thank A and B for their generous support."
Again, I think you get a bit redundant with your prepositional phrases: "tenure of service"
"time of service" or just "tenure" would be less redundant.
I think you should use a compound predicate for the last two sentences;
"I would like to convey... and thank..."
You give attention TO a matter.
You investigate INTO a matter.
Are you needing him to investigate your concern, or is he already aware of it and you need him TO address it?
|link||edited Sep 21 at 17:12 Aaron Prejean Expert|
As requested by you, I have evaluated all the answer sheets and submitted them to the person concerned on Monday. To the best of my knowledge, I have completed all the formalities and I request that you process payment of the salary due to me. I thank the College and my colleagues for the generous help and support given to me during my tenure of service. I would like to convey my best wishes for the success and growth of the College. I thank you for your attention into this matter and look forward to your reply
|link comment||answered Sep 21 at 12:07 Liz Gump New member|
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