critical thinking

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How do I fix this sentence for better point

See example:

According to the Smart Measure result life factors score of 73% , individual attribute score of 70%, and reading rate and recall score of 83 wpm and 60% respectively indicate that I need to develop skills necessary to be successful in furthering my education.
asked Sep 17 '13 at 08:27 Donnette Bowerbank New member

1 answer


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You either need to say

"According to [A] [B], and [C], I need to..."

or

"The [A] [B] and [C] indicate that I need..."

 

You cannot do both.

 

"According to [A][B], and [C]" is a phrase.

"indicate" is an improperly placed verb that could begin to function correctly if you removed "According" and allowed [A][B], and [C] to function as its subject.

"that I need..." is a dependent clause. 

 

You have no independent clause.

You need an independent clause.

link comment edited Sep 17 '13 at 11:35 Aaron Prejean Expert

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