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how to fix this sentence

See example:

I ran and jumped into the king-size bed peeled back the comforter and laid my head on the feather soft pillow and within second drifted of instantly.
asked Sep 07 '13 at 18:17 Kara Gaitor New member

1 answer


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Add commas to your sequence of events.

 

hyphenate feather-soft

 

within seconds-

 

drifted off-

 

put commas around the interruptor, within seconds,

 

or, since it is redundant to say "within seconds drifted off instantly", remove "within seconds" OR "instantly".  Pick one.

If you decide to keep "within seconds", consider moving it where you have "instantly" to avoid comma use.

link comment edited Sep 07 '13 at 18:41 Aaron Prejean Expert

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