How can I rephrase this sentence?(the suggestion doesnot help )

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The mild stage of the Alzhimer's Disease (patient is not able to manage daily activities and get lost and deny the dementia), the moderate stage (patient needs helps for daily activities, lose the ability to drive safe, may forget friends, family and some details of the past), and the severe stage (patient needs assistant for living and loss control of bladder and bowel movement).

See example:

The mild stage of the Alzhimer's Disease (patient is not able to manage daily activities and get lost and deny the dementia), the moderate stage (patient needs helps for daily activities, lose the ability to drive safe, may forget friends, family and some details of the past), and the severe stage (patient needs assistant for living and loss control of bladder and bowel movement).
asked Feb 26 '12 at 23:57 hedi New member

1 answer


1

Removing your parenthetical remarks gives us this incomplete sentence:
"The mild stage of the Alzheimer’s Disease, the moderate stage, and the severe stage."

 

Rephrase this into a complete thought, adding the definitions after the base sentence is clear. In addition, the sentence also suffers from improper spelling and frequent verb/subject disagreement. Without arguing the substance of your definitions (of which I am not familiar) I would suggest something like this:


Alzheimer's Disease is divided into three stages; mild, moderate, and severe. The mild stage is characterized by the patient’s inability to manage routine daily activities, becoming frequently lost or disoriented, and often includes a denial of dementia. The moderate stage is characterized by the patient requiring assistance with daily activities, a loss of safe driving ability, and may include the patient forgetting friends, family, or some details from his or her past. The severe stage is characterized by the patient requiring assistance for living and may include loss of bladder and/or bowel control.

 

It still isn't perfect, but it's a step in the right direction.

link comment answered Apr 02 '12 at 01:05 Tony Proano Expert

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