Punctuation or re-word
Please give suggestions on this sentence. Thank you!
See example:
Procedures, instruments, and files for annual, effective, performance-based evaluation, hiring, rehiring, and separation of employment for all personnel must be organized and systematically stored.
asked Feb 21 '12 at 19:37
Ctartt
New member
Ctartt
New member
1 answer 
It looks like the beginning of the sentence is a list of documents or items that must be organized and systematically stored. You might want to flip the sentence around a bit and first state that there are certain items that must be organized and stored, then list those items. It would probably be easier to follow. The first two items (procedures & instruments) don't actually seem like items that would be on that list, though. Procedures could be the system of organizing, so there might be some redundancy when using forms of all three words in the same sentence.
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answered Feb 22 '12 at 00:40
Patty T
Grammarly Fellow
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Thank you for your help.
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