I need examples of a good lead statement for my essay

0

I need samples of a good introductory statement for my essay.

 

 

     Running into my cousin, Bonnie’s grocery basket at the HEB grocery store stirred many emotional feelings buried deep in my sole about my dad. My heart began racing like a thoroughbred running for its life. 

asked Jul 30 '13 at 23:45 Nedra Williams New member

1 answer


0

Introductions are important but can lose their value if voices or styles change quickly in text that follows. Not sure at what level you're being graded but you need to ask yourself some questions... What points are you trying to make? Is it more important that you ran into Bonnie or her basket? Are you going to explain why, later? Did you notice, in two sentences, that you used the words grocery and running twice? Not always, but shorter lines often have more impact and guide the reader to where you wish to lead. And, I'm sure your emotions aren't stored in your shoe (sorry). Take your time, add words for purpose, not word count.        Here goes sumpin


My heart began racing like a thoroughbred running for its life when I ran into my cousin Bonnie at the HEB grocery. It stirred many emotions about my dad that were buried in my soul.

 

 

With time, you can do better. Writing becomes easy; it's the rework that is hard. Good luck

link comment answered Aug 02 '13 at 05:41 Doug Profitt New member

Your answer


Write at least 20 characters

Have a question about English grammar, style or vocabulary use? Ask now to get help from Grammarly experts for FREE.