punctuation in a sentence

0

How can I change this

See example:

Our administrators interviewed and hire the people and we orientated all new staff to our toddler classrooms before allowing them to function in the vacate position as a part of our team.
asked Jan 26 '12 at 23:51 Cynthia Kelley New member

1 answer


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First off, you go back and forth between past and present tense in this sentence three or four times. You need to pick one and stick with it.  Affected parts: "interviewed", "hire", "orientated", "allowing".

 

Second, orientated is NOT a word.  The root of those words is "orient", thus the proper past tense is "oriented".

 

Third, "vacate" is a verb, and you use it as an adjective to "position".  The proper form of the word there is "vacant".

 

Fourth, you say there are multiple people by saying "all new staff" and "allowing them", so position should actually be plural.

 

Fifth, orienting new staff to our toddler classrooms makes it sound like you need to just make sure they know where it is, when I'm guessing you're actually training them "in" the toddler classrooms.

 

Finally, the sentence is just too long.  Splitting it into two would solve some problems.

 

All that being said, this is how I would make that sentence:

Our administrators interview and hire the people.  We then orient all new staff in our toddler classrooms before allowing them to function in the vacant positions as part of our team.

link comment answered Feb 01 '12 at 06:46 Rhydon New member

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