punctuation mistakes inside the sentence, either wrong punctuation or missing punctuation

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please edit it on my grammar thanks

See example:

I have been working in a corporate world for a couple of years now I deal with different computer applications, I grow up professionally as a banker, and while having a day job in the banking industry, I was able to study in George Brown College and took up Accounting Certificate.
asked Jan 07 '12 at 05:31 norilyn New member

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I have been working in a corporate world for a couple of years.  Now, I deal with different computer applications. I have developed professionally as a banker, and while working in the banking industry, I was able to study at George Brown College and earned my Accounting Certificate.

link comment answered Jan 10 '12 at 21:19 Kimberly Expert

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