Comparisons

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The sentence is complete, what more does Grammarly want?

See example:

The Center for Disease Control in the United States reports men are four times more likely to commit suicide than women are and the rates of suicide are higher among adults 65 and older .
asked Dec 07 '11 at 02:06 Lillian New member

2 answers


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I believe you should remove the word are after women.  That may be what is catching Grammarly's program.

 

The sentence is a bit cumbersome because you are describing two statistics related to the rate of suicide, but in different ways.  First, you are looking at two groups using a more than comparison, and using an actual statistic (four times).  Then you are stating a different sort of group has a higher rate but don't explain higher than what nor do you use any sort of statistic. Each way is fine on its own, but putting all of that in one sentence gets sort of messy.    I would either make two sentences to make two statements or one sentence with similar comparisons. 

 

US CDC reports show that men are four times more likely to commit suicide than women and seniors over 65 have a higher suicide rate than younger adults.

link comment answered Dec 07 '11 at 06:49 Patty T Grammarly Fellow
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The Center for Disease Control in the United States reports rates of suicide are higher among adult 65 and older. But men are four times more likely to commit suicide than women.

link answered Dec 07 '11 at 04:17 culsum taha New member

There is no reason to use the word "but" here. These are two separate and independent statistics. The comparison of men vs. women is not contrary to the comparison of older vs. younger people. Patty TDec 07 '11 at 06:54

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