narrative paper

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How can I change this sentence so it makes more sence.

See example:

This beast called cancer was about to slowly take over my life.
asked Nov 27 '11 at 18:44 mary del toro New member

1 answer


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This beast — cancer — was about to slowly take over my life.

 

Isolating the word 'cancer' from the reast of the sentence with em dashes creates and clarifies the dramatic effect you were aiming for in the original sentence.  This would become even more clearer if you clearly state the kind of cancer.

link comment answered Nov 29 '11 at 02:54 Kimberly Expert

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