Ending the sentence

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How should I change this last sentence so I wouldn't have an incorrect us of a prepositions??

(THON, Paternoville, even his Media Law class with Professor Rob Richards are just a few proactive activites I would enjoy participating in.

See example:

THON, Paternoville, even his Media Law class with Professor Rob Richards are just a few proactive activities I would enjoy participating in.
asked Nov 16 '11 at 02:27 Ryan New member

1 answer


1

The simple answer is that you just flip the sentence around. 

 

I would enjoy participating in THON, ...

 

When you use a pronoun, you must make sure it is clear what belongs to it in the sentence.  When you say "his class" here, you are referring to Professor Robert Richards.  But the way you have it worded indicates that THON & Paternoville are also his.  When you say "with Professor Richards" you are already showing that the class is his so you should just delete the pronoun.  (Double check the nickname.  I think Robert Richards at Penn State goes by Bob?) 

 

The other point I have is about the "proactive activities" phrase.  I think perhaps you are using "proactive" to mean a positive activity, which is not the meaning of the word.  Being proactive means to step in before something happens so that you can affect the outcome - usually to avoid a negative result.  THON is certainly positive, raising huge sums of money for the Four Diamonds Fund.  Paternoville is probably more proactive because you are trying to get better seats at a game by camping out.  (But sadly, will the name remain?)  Are you interested in camping out with a group or being on the PCC?  If you are planning on doing something specific in the future that will involve pushing the limits of the law & relates to the media, then taking a class about that would be proactive.  Perhaps there is another way you could word this to be more clear on why you are interested in these activities.  Something like ...

 

Among the many opportunities on campus I would enjoy participating in, I am interested in dancing at THON, serving on the Paternoville Coordination Committee, or even enrolling in Professor Richards' Media Law class.

link comment answered Nov 16 '11 at 03:30 Patty T Grammarly Fellow

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