How can I group this this sentence into a list using proper punction?

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Some options can include a water park, Bermuda cruise line that ports at each section of the island, guided railway tours which also features cycle trails, sports bar with TV monitors geared only to sporting events, and a local show.

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Some options can include a water park, Bermuda cruise line that ports at each section of the island, guided railway tours which also features cycle trails, sports bar with TV monitors geared only to sporting events, and a local show.
asked Nov 10 '11 at 06:48 Emma New member

1 answer


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Emma, I see several things here.  Some of your options are simply stated & others have more information.  It is easier to make a list "sound right" if there is consistency.  I’m guessing this is a list of things to do at a certain vacation destination. 


Is the cruise line really an option that should be on the same list as the other options?  I suspect that a person is either staying in a hotel & might do all the other things, or they are on the cruise that stops at several ports.  Does a cruise ship actually move around from port to port at this island?  (Having never been on a cruise, I am unsure.)  Whether or not you include the cruise on the same list, you are using “ports” as a verb.  Consider using it as the noun to replace “each section” of the island and using “stops” or “docks” as the verb.
 

Most people know what a sports bar is, so you can delete the explanation.  This just muddles up the list.  For the purpose of this list, does the reader need to know that the cycle trails are at the same place as the railway tours?  They are two different options for something to do, so list them separately. 
 

If there is only one sports bar (or one cruise line) make sure you put an article (“a”) in front of it.  Otherwise, make sure you use a plural for bars or lines. 
 

The punctuation itself – which was actually your question – is fine.  You put a comma between each option.  For the last option, you can use either “and” or “or” for the conjunction.  Hope all the rest is of some help.  

link comment answered Nov 10 '11 at 22:02 Patty T Grammarly Fellow

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