What is wrong with this sentance?

0

Is the grammar correct?

"The issue is also visible in the trends in economic indicators of this group of families challenged to save enough money for or to pay for the cost of college tuition".

See example:

The issue is also visible in the trends in economic indicators of this group of families challenged to save enough money for or to pay for the cost of college tuition.
asked Jul 18 '13 at 01:08 GENE HUTCHINSON New member

1 answer


1

When you have so many prepositions in a sentence, it is difficult for the reader to follow the meaning.  You also are incorrectly using some information. 

 

An economic indicator is a statistic about the economy, such as employment rates, gross national product, and the consumer price index.  These are not indicators of a group of families.  The indicators show trends, so it is redundant to say there are trends. 

 

I assume the reader already knows that you are talking about a group of families, so one preposition can be removed by changing that phrase to these families

 

At the end of your sentence, I understand that you are trying to include people currently paying for college as well as those trying to save for future college expense.  But it is quite wordy. 

 

Saving or paying for college is a challenge for these families, reflecting current economic indicators. 

link comment answered Jul 18 '13 at 12:14 Patty T Grammarly Fellow

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