Problems with sentence

0

What's the problem with this sentence?

See example:

The main reasons students give for failing to participate in the political process are demanding assignments, in addition to working at part-time jobs.
asked Jul 17 '13 at 10:44 wendy New member

1 answer


0

Hi Wendy,

 

I think this sentence can be fixed with little trouble.  When you start out saying "main reasons," I expected to find a short list.  Instead of a short list of reasons, I found only one: "demanding assignments."  If you simply remove "in addition to working at," I believe the sentence would be not only more concise but also grammatically correct.

 

The main reasons students give for failing to participate in the political process are demanding assignments and part-time jobs.

 

Easy-peasey!

link comment answered Jul 17 '13 at 11:29 Neznayou New member

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