this is a part of my personal statement. i want to check the grammar by others. thanks.

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When I was a F.2 student, I just wanted to become a nurse. I am a F.5 student now. I still want to become a nurse to take care of patients and other people. For my mind, I do not want to change my dream career. Therefore, I should prepare well about my future. I need to study hard, do well in the examination and choose my favorite university or college. Thus, I would like to apply the Bachelor of Nursing in The Chinese University of Hong Kong because I believe this course can equip me to become a professional in the field of nursing. I hope everything will be okay because of my working hard.

 

 

Being a member of the school volleyball team, I have learnt how to control my emotion and how to strike a balance between playing volleyball and study. Also, I have learnt how to work with different people, accept their comments and considerate of others. I think that working as a team, we need to have teamwork and tacit understanding.  So, we need to have a deeply understanding to each other in this process.  More importantly, I have been trained to be responsible and organized. Sometimes, I would like to bring the balls to the court and to call the members to go to practice. I believe that  a good nurse should be responsible ,calm and helpful. I am sure my experience in the school volleyball team would prepare in the Bachelor of Nursing.

edited Jul 03 '13 at 13:28 alisonskf New member

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