writing style

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how should I re write this sentence

See example:

To our amazement above the piano was a huge crystal chandelier which sparkled as the light hit it.
asked Jun 15 '13 at 20:52 cecilia garrett New member

2 answers


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I assume that the huge size of chandelier explains the "amazement," but I'm not convinced "To our amazement" belongs in the sentence at all.  If you want to keep it, then "To our amazement" should be followed by a comma and the word "we."

  • To our amazement, we noticed a huge crystal chandelier hanging above the piano, and it sparkled as the light hit it.

You have other  options too. I recommend using an active verb, such as "hung," instead of the verb "was."

  • Amazingly, above the piano hung a huge crystal chandelier, which sparkled as the light hit it.
  • Amazingly, above the piano hung a huge crystal chandelier that sparkled as the light hit it.
  • A huge crystal chandelier, which sparkled in the light, hung above the grand piano.
link comment answered Jun 15 '13 at 22:50 Dr. G Contributor
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Above the piano and sparkling in the light was a huge, crystal chandelier. It was an amazing sight. That one passed the Grammarly Check test.

link comment answered Jun 16 '13 at 00:27 Brother Dave Contributor

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