How could I make this paper better?
I felt like I needed to write this part of my life story because it would help me move on felt like this is holding me back , think it's time for me to stop blaming myself for and it wasn't my fault.
The first line is fine. You need a full stop/period or, even better, a colon after "...move on".
Thereafter, I suggest
"... It felt as if this (chapter in my life/incident) was holding me back, and the time had come to stop blaming myself for something which really hadn't been my fault".
|link comment||answered Jun 15 '13 at 19:09 Michael Cranfield Expert|
Michael's suggestion works. This is a slightly different approach, but either would suffice. What, at first glance looks like a simple re-write, was actually quite difficult. This is a bit choppy, but short sentences sometimes work better. Grammar Checker still doesn't think it's perfect – but it's only a machine. This is from the heart for a heartfelt submission. Writing this part of my life story was necessary. The incident has held me back. Putting it on paper is cathartic and will help me move ahead. The time has come for me to stop blaming myself and accept that it wasn't my fault.
|link comment||answered Jun 16 '13 at 01:00 Brother Dave Contributor|
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