Revise

0

How can I revise this sentence?

See example:

Her attitude towards life is a combination of her upbringing along with life experiences as an adult, she see things as they truly are.
asked Apr 07 '13 at 12:50 Anthony Marable New member

1 answer


1

First, let’s look at your word choices.  Her attitude is not a combination of these two things.  Try it with one or the other and you will see what I mean.  Her attitude is her upbringing.  Her attitude is her life experiences. Both of these are incorrect.  What you want to say is that her attitude toward life is a result of, or formed by, both her upbringing and her life experiences.  I would delete “as an adult” because children have life experiences too.  Siblings can have the same upbringing, but different life experiences.

 

You might notice that I wrote toward instead of towards.  Both are acceptable.  Toward is generally used in American English.  Towards is most commonly used in British English. 

The comma in your sentence needs to be either a semi-colon or a period.  The part after that can stand as a separate sentence.  Depending on the context or the audience, though, it is vague and leaves room for argument.  Most people see things as they “truly are” from one perspective.  Another person can see a different truth from a different perspective.   

link comment answered Apr 07 '13 at 13:59 Patty T Grammarly Fellow

Your answer


Write at least 20 characters

Have a question about English grammar, style or vocabulary use? Ask now to get help from Grammarly experts for FREE.