Restated this sentences.

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What is the best way to restate the sentence?

See example:

The new changes also recommended that teachers would stay up to additional 90 minutes during a week for training and meetings or anything else that principal deems important.
asked Mar 10 '13 at 19:51 Meshell Bradley New member

2 answers


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Revised: The new changes also suggest that it is at the principal's discretion to allow teachers to stay [on campus] up to an additional 90 minutes during the week for approved activities.

link comment answered Mar 11 '13 at 10:46 Brandon |Haphazard| New member
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The word “new” is redundant unless you are comparing these to old changes.  A change doesn’t recommend.  Recommendations might include a change in policy, though.  Are you talking about a change in policy (a done deal), or a recommended change? Your sentence is unclear.

 

I believe that Brandon’s revised sentence changes your meaning.  Allowing the teachers to stay is quite different than allowing the principal to require that they stay.  You wrote that they would stay, which implies a requirement. 

 

It is doubtful that a school board would use the phrase “anything else” in a recommendation or a change to school policy.  It is much too vague.  Training and meetings are vague enough. 

 

A recommended policy change would require teachers to attend up to ninety minutes a week of training or other meetings after school at the discretion of the principal. 

link comment answered Mar 11 '13 at 11:31 Patty T Grammarly Fellow

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