How would I re word this paragraph?

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How would I re word this paragraph? and to start out the sentence?

See example:

The reason why this topic is interesting is that I never would think Latino Americans have to deal with diabetes I always think it is more African Americans, but as I researched my information about them, it drew me more to know about why this certain behavior in the Latino American would have such a high rate in diabetes.
asked Mar 04 '13 at 03:09 Cheetara New member

1 answer


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My suggestion:

 

The reason this topic is interesting is I never used to think Latino Americans had to deal with diabetes. I always thought it affected African Americans more, but as I researched more, I learned why certain behaviors in the Latino American community led to such a high rate.

 

Also, unless you're still in high school (or lower), you may want to change the paragraph entirely as it would make an adult sound kind of racist.

link comment answered Mar 08 '13 at 09:54 Wallid Fielding New member

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