Kindly Suggest.

0

Dear Experts,

 

Request your review on the below paragraphs, in terms of correct use of words, sentence framing, punctuation, and any other applicable changes. I understand that this may somewhat lengthy for you, but would highly appreciate your kind assistance.  

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

We have been observing various irrelevancies in context to not adhering to the standard Separation guidelines, apparently required to cater the key factors associated with the employee's separation, and that by any means are resulting in unanticipated delays in processing the smooth and uninterrupted separation of employee's from the services.

 

Apart from this, the above factors are also responsible for aggravating the frequency of reworking requests of various sorts, thus posing risks to the application as well as compliance parameters.

 

Considering the above indicators, we have organized a comprehensive and detailed session in order to facilitate and streamline the seamless flow of  timely and accurate exit procedures of the employees.

 

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

 

Thanks in advance.

 

Regards

is it correct asked Feb 26 '13 at 18:34 Joseph New member

1 answer


0

Though you have this spaced as three paragraphs, it is really only three extremely wordy sentences.  I had to read each sentence multiple times to understand what you were trying to communicate.   My first reaction when reading was to give up somewhere around “apparently required” as it was obviously going to take great effort to figure out what the heck you were talking about.  I think that is a very common reaction to such extreme wordiness.  If your guidelines are written in this manner, we may have just discovered why people are not following the guidelines. 

 

Separation guidelines are not being properly followed.  This causes delays, redundant efforts, and possible compliance risks.  A training session will be provided to ensure understanding of procedural guidelines. 

link answered Feb 27 '13 at 00:18 Patty T Grammarly Fellow

Thanks Patty.

JosephFeb 28 '13 at 17:17

add comment

Your answer


Write at least 20 characters

Have a question about English grammar, style or vocabulary use? Ask now to get help from Grammarly experts for FREE.