How could I change this sentence to sound better?

See example:

"I have been in ministry for 30 years, and this is one of the few, the rare, programs that just really infiltrates a church and turns lives around in huge ways.
asked Feb 22 '13 at 19:29 Alissa Catalano New member

1 answer




Here are the problems with your sentence:


the few, the rare: You need to choose one or the other; you cannot grammatically use both.


just really: although these two adverbs are often paired in casual spoken English, they each have the same meaning (or at least just means really/actually in this context; of course, it has other meanings) and so you should choose one or the other.  My vote would be for really.


infiltrates: I don't think this is verb you need.  Infiltrate means "to move into (an organization, country, territory, or the like) surreptitiously and gradually, especially with hostile intent", for example The troops infiltrated the enemy lines.  Because I don't know very much about what you are talking about, I hesitate to suggest a more appropriate verb. Perhaps transforms?


in huge ways: Using the adjective huge here sounds quite informal.  How about significant, or extremely significant?  Or meaningful or extremely meaningful?

link comment answered Feb 23 '13 at 09:37 Shawn Mooney Expert

Your answer

Write at least 20 characters

Have a question about English grammar, style or vocabulary use? Ask now to get help from Grammarly experts for FREE.