I'm new here and this is my first time venturing in, so thanks for your help. I have a sentence that has beaten me and would be grateful for some suggestions.
People lean out of their car windows to look at Baillie - partly because of that wonderful sense of joy that Springers have, as well as the fact that she truly is a beautiful dog!
To put it in context, the work is an article about Springer Spaniels and the sentence is immediately preceded by She literally stops traffic when we go walking.
many thanks for your advice. I've reworked it in so many ways and still come up with errors.
One problem I see is that the sentence is a bit wordy. I made this into two sentences and shortened it some. The dash was bothering me because I wanted to see another at the end of the clause. 'Sense' bothers me. I'm trying to think of something more outward, such as 'aura', but aura isn't right, either. Exuberance came to mind, finally. Try swapping 'truly is' with 'is truly' and see if it makes a difference to you.
People will lean out of their car windows to look at Baillie. She has that wonderful exuberance so typical in Springers, and she truly is a beautiful dog!
|link comment||answered Feb 15 '13 at 22:07 Lewis Neidhardt Grammarly Fellow|
Hero of the day
Person gave the most answers!