Shop floor, showroom or online business----the milieu has changed. With increasing spread of the internet and mobile phone, commerce has changed the way producers, service providers and customers interact. The customer is a new buying and consuming force in the market. A force that speaks one language--English. No wonder that corporate think tanks advice their HR Managers to train the workforce not only in technical skills but also in English.
Here are my comments. (Your text is a little long, but I am bored tonight, so here goes...)
milieu: this word does not sound quite right for this context. It describes a person's social environment, and we don't know who is being referred to or addressed here. I would suggest changing the entire first part to Whether on the shop floor, the showroom, or online, the marketplace has changed.
The increasing spread of the internet and mobile phone technology has changed the way producers, service providers, and customers interact. The prepositional phrase was grammatically incorrect, here. The noun commerce needs to be deleted; not only does it not add anything here, but it obscured the precise cause of the change, previously identified.
The customer has new powers in the marketplace: powers that speak one language--English. This is the weakest, and least understandable, part of the text. It is not clear enough, either here or in general, that the powers associated with the internet and mobile phone technology have increased the use or primacy of English. Perhaps such an argument could be made, but it needs to be.
advise: the verb is advise and the noun is advice
their workforces/employees: it is acceptable to use workforce to mean the employees of a company, but employees is more commonly used in that context. But the noun must be plural to agree with think thanks and HR Managers
in English. I deleted the rest of this phrase because technical skills don't fit well with a think tank, whose specialization is typically intellectual knowledge, and you should focus solely on learning English here regardless. However, it is probably true that most HR Managers do not have the training or skills to each English to their employees, so that training would be outsourced--or, they would only hire fluent English speakers; thus, to make it more precise and concise, you should revise the last sentence to No wonder that corporate think tanks either hire fluent English speakers or arrange for their employees to learn English.
I hope this helps.
|link||answered Feb 14 at 11:30 Shawn Mooney Expert|
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