adverbs

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I've tried rewriting this several times and it just doesn't sound right.. what's your thoughts?

Some servants came from the house, more from the stables to tend to the master’s horses and the fresh killed game.

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Some servants came from the house, more from the stables to tend to the master's horses and the fresh killed game.
asked Jun 09 '11 at 12:37 Ruth Pudel New member

2 answers


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Some servants came from the house, others from the stables, to tend to the master's horses and the fresh killed game.

 

What do you think of that?

link comment answered Jun 11 '11 at 20:35 Kimberly Expert
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The majority of the servants left the stables, while others left the house, to tend to the master's horses and the fresh killed game.

link comment answered Jul 04 '12 at 18:38 Rita Diani New member

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