)):!!please correct this!!:(((

0

please check for:

1-Punctuation within a sentence.

2-Writing style.

3- Vocabulary use.

4-Wordiness.

 

 

____

 

My favorite fruit is apple, it's my favorite because it's very delicious, and healthy and sweet, I always eat an apple for breakfast, my dad also loves apples, actually most of my family members eat apples.

I don't eat apples that aren't fresh.

help Me please english asked Feb 10 '13 at 12:44 Jessi Jessi New member

2 answers


1

Jessi, I'd like to introduce you to the period. It ends a sentence. You have five sentences strung together with commas. If you don't have a textbook, Grammarly Handbook has plenty of information about punctuation. There are many other online resources that cover the topic as well.  I suggest studying basic sentence structure so you better understand when to end a sentence.


Your vocabulary is easy to understand. The style is simplistic. With proper punctuation, it is written at about a fifth grade level.


To cut down on wordiness when you are writing, look for words that repeat. Then find ways to put those two sentences or clauses together.


Your first two sentence should read: My favorite fruit is apple. It's my favorite because it's very delicious, healthy, and sweet.  You don't need to mention twice that it is your favorite. You can combine the two sentences. My favorite fruit is apple because it is delicious, healthy, and sweet. 

 

You can also delete the last sentence by adding fresh to describe the apple you eat for breakfast.   

link comment edited Feb 10 '13 at 13:44 Patty T Grammarly Fellow
0

Patty has nailed it again, except that I don't like the sentence My favorite fruit is apple.  This may be a difference between American English and Canadian/British English (and if so, please enlighten me) but the word fruit is uncountable, yet specfic kinds of fruit are countable, so, to avoid an awkward sentence like My favorite fruit is an apple, or My favorite fruit are apples, each of which sounds awkward,  the sentence should be flipped: Apples are my favorite fruit.  Other options are I like/love apples the most.  But My favorite fruit is apple sounds utterly ungrammatical to my ear.

link answered Feb 10 '13 at 16:01 Shawn Mooney Expert

I agree, Shawn. It sounded awkward to me as well, but it felt like one of those fuzzy grey areas and it could go either way. With the simplistic language, I "heard" it coming from the mouth of a child, and then it sounded right. Of course, that doesn't mean it is!

Patty TFeb 10 '13 at 16:05

add comment

Your answer


Write at least 20 characters

Have a question about English grammar, style or vocabulary use? Ask now to get help from Grammarly experts for FREE.