How to prove this sentences

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Hi,

Could you help me how to shortten this sentence, and make it more clear.

See example:

After getting more profits because of globalization, companies could open up markets and get greater efficiency in the industry and advancing technologies .
asked Feb 02 '13 at 05:17 XIZI LIU New member

1 answer


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In your subject line, you use the word “prove” when you mean “improve”.  Prove means to show supporting evidence that something is a fact.  Improve means to make better.

 

The sentence doesn’t make much sense.  You are saying that a company earns profits just because globalization exists, then after it earns those profits it enters new markets, increases efficiency, and uses advancing technologies.  Because of grammatical problems, the end of the sentence might be saying that the advancing technologies create greater efficiencies, but it is hard to interpret your meaning. 

 

Instead, you want to say that globalization allows for these things, and that can be profitable.  There are many ways to rewrite that.   

link comment answered Feb 02 '13 at 11:48 Patty T Grammarly Fellow

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