Please review sentenc and give me ideas to revise

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I need help in the revision of this sentence please help.

See example:

I for one do not ever want to make the living or dying choice for no patient or family member because I know personally how hard that choice truly is and I would encourage the one who has to make the decision to seek God in prayer and let God's will be done.
asked Feb 01 '13 at 02:07 Audra Johnson New member

2 answers


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I, for one,  do not ever want to make the living or dying choice for no patient or family member because I know personally how hard that choice truly is, and I would encourage the one who has to make the decision to seek God in prayer.  Let God's will be done( Sorry,I did not get the meaning.)

link comment answered Feb 01 '13 at 04:19 sanjay Expert
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Audra, this sentence is very much like the other one that I answered, so I looked at all of your questions.  You posed a version of this same question three times.  Please note that we aren’t employees here.  Once is enough.

 

This sentence is even more rambling than the other one I responded to.  This should be broken into two or three sentences. 

 

You have a double negative in the beginning.  I do not want to choose for no patient.  No needs to be changed to any.

 

Your other questions in the past indicate that you are writing for school.  If that is still true, you need to know that writing in the first person is almost always inappropriate.  The exception is when the assignment specifically asks for a personal reflection on the topic.  This subject matter may fall into that type of assignment.  If not, you need to remove yourself from the paper.  That includes what you want, what you personally know, what you would encourage, and any reference to your religious beliefs. 

link comment answered Feb 01 '13 at 08:29 Patty T Grammarly Fellow

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