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Can anyone help me with this sentence
Gilly lad a very desolate childhood, until she got a visit from someone like the fairy godmother in Cinderella, who was actually her mother's cousin Geillis.
You are writing about the plot of Mary Stewart's novel Thornyhold. I had to Google some other book reviews to understand what you are trying to stay.
Gilly's cousin Geillis visited her occasionally when Gilly was a child. Your sentence makes it sound as if it was a single visit. Geillis did remind Gilly of a fairy godmother, but your sentence is too vague on this point.
Given the fact that Gilly lived with two parents who had a relatively happy marriage, very desolate sounds too strong to describe her childhood.
I suggest the following revision:
Gilly had a lonely childhood, except for the occasional visits of her mother's cousin Geillis. Geillis seemed like a fairy godmother to her.
|link comment||answered Feb 01 '13 at 01:47 Shawn Mooney Expert|
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