what tips can you give me to refresh my annotated bibliography?

0

I need some help rephasing and correcting the grammar in paper.

See example:

Nowadays domestic violence issues are not yet resolved, and most of the time the victims are quite overlooked in criminal trials.
asked Jan 31 '13 at 14:56 Griselda New member

2 answers


1

Griselda,

 

Your question doesn't seem to have anything whatsoever to do with an annotated bibliography, and your use of the verb refresh in the subject line does not make any sense in standard English.  Nonetheless, here are my suggestions and revisions to your text... 

 

Nowadays does not collocate with yet.  I have revised the remainder of your text to make yet unnecessary.  (For your information, yet must collocate with a perfect tense, at least in British and Canadian English; in American English, apparently, it is okay to use yet with the simple past.)

 

In addition, domestic violence issues are not yet resolved is incorrect because the meaning is much too general.  Surely, some domestic violence issues have been satisfactorily resolved? Or at the very least, some domestic violence lawsuits or court cases have?  You must narrow this statement down to make it more believable.  Doing so will strengthen your argument. Please see my suggested revision, below.

 

As well, most of the time is too casual for academic prose.  You need a more formal adverb.  Mostly does not suffice, and instead I would suggest usually or often but either of these quantifiers is correctly placed after the victims areQuite is unnecessary, mostly because it is confusing (in North American English, quite means the same as very/really, but in British English it means somewhat; because of this confusion, it should be avoided) .

 

Also, overlooked is not the best passive verb here.  If you overlook something, you completely fail to notice, perceive or consider it.  I think that you don't mean to sound so absolute.  It would be far better, at least from a rhetorical perspective, to tone that passive verb down.  In the following rewrite, which takes into account all of the above changes, I suggest discounted as a better passive verb.

 

Nowadays, judicial verdicts with respect to domestic violence continue to be unpredictable; victim testimony is still usually/often discounted in criminal trials.

 

If you want to make the second clause stronger, more emphatic, you can change it to is still too often discounted...

 

I hope this helps.

link comment edited Jan 31 '13 at 17:01 Shawn Mooney Expert
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Shawn is correct -- in American English, yet can be used with the simple past tense.

 

Also, in American English, "nowadays" is considered somewhat archaic and informal. In academic writing, more direct and concise words -- now or today -- are preferred.

 

I hope this helps. 

link comment answered Jan 31 '13 at 20:57 Jeff Pribyl Grammarly Fellow

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