is this sentence grammtically correct


please read this sentence and correct it for me?

See example:

As such, leadership has been cited as being one of the crucial factors necessary for the attainment of successful Knowledge Management initiatives coupled with the fact that majority of research studies have concluded that successful Knowledge Management systems calls for a leader or champion from the executive arm of the organization to provide guidance.
asked Jun 01 '11 at 22:57 Simon Rassel New member

1 answer


You are basically saying the same thing twice in a run-on sentence.  Leadership has been cited (where? by whom?) as a crucial factor.  Studies have concluded something similar.  Also, I suggest getting rid of the word "attainment" which indicates success and is redundant.  I don't know what "as such" is referring to, but I personally find this phrase to be generally unecessary.  It is an indication that you are rephrasing information already given.  Take a look at what you have written before this sentence.  If you aren't giving any new information here, and attempting to sum up previous information, then be concise.  Don't just keep saying the same thing over & over.


Leadership, from the organization's executive level, is a crucial factor for a successful KM strategy.


I am assuming that you already have mentioned "Knowledge Management" as a practice, strategy, inititative, or system.  When something has a long name, you can abbreviate it the rest of the time in this manner:


Knowledge Management (KM) is .....


In business writing, this is used frequently for any named product, company, or system that has a longer name with more than one word, but not for short names. 


Bayerische Motoren Werke (BMW) and Honda are foreign car companies.





link comment answered Jun 01 '11 at 23:51 Patty T Grammarly Fellow

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