do I need an article before the word 'exclusive'?
However, in the era of neo-liberal economics and globalisation, the business of PMCs has experienced a new momentum in the sense that they have been consulted for those activities which were previously thought to be exclusive expertise of the military itself.
Yes, the exclusive expertise is correct.
Your sentence otherwise sounds pretty good in an academic writing context. It could be tightened up just a bit so here is my suggested revision:
However, in this era of neo-liberal economics and globalisation, PMCs are experiencing a new momentum in business growth because of the increasing demand for consultation about activities previously thought to be the exclusive expertise of the military.
And here are my notes about the changes I've made:
the era to this era: Assuming that we are still in this era, it should be this.
the business of PMCs has experienced to PMCs are experiencing...in business growth: the Present Perfect verb choice doesn't show that the 'experience' continues NOW, whereas the Present Progressive verb tense focuses on the current situation. I assume that focus is more relevant here. And it is better to have the PMCs as the subject rather than the phrase you used; I moved business toward the end and added growth; 'business growth' is a more natural phrase.
in the sense that they have been consulted for those activities which were previously thought to be exclusive expertise of the military itself to because of the increasing demand for consultation about activities previously thought to be the exclusive expertise of the military: all of my changes have the effect of making the sentence more concise. In particular, itself is redundant with exclusive.
I also presume that you have spelled out the acronym PMCs somewhere earlier in the text. If not, it should be.
I hope this helps.
|link comment||edited Jan 20 '13 at 04:28 Shawn Mooney Expert|
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