The cat bat lowered its wings

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The cat bat lowered its wings, tilted its head a little to the right, and looked at Jay. The savage creature licked the saliva from its mouth and stood on its back paws.
   Suddenly, more cats’ eyes appeared in the bushes, and Jay crept away from them slowly. The cat bat sank its claws into the tree trunk. It ran head first in to the tall ferns and expand its wings.
“Meow!” It roared as saliva dripped from its mouth. Jay grabbed his canvas bag and ran as fast as he could. Moreover, the cat bat chased him.
Jay pushed himself through a small crevice in the foot of a tree. The fierce leopard became enraged and banged itself on the tree trunk. Then the black cat pushed its head through a narrow opening and snapped at Jay. Jay curled up among the tree roots that anchored in the soil, and the beast tried to make itself through the little hole. Eventually, the cat bat gave up and walked away from the tree where Jay was hiding.
     Jay crawled through a cave and gripped the moist soil as he went along. The tunnel hindered him from turning left or right. He crawled through the hole that ended with two separate tunnels. Jay stopped and wondered, which hole he should crawl through.
“I'm lost,” he said to himself.
  “Where are you going?” said a squeaky voice.
He looked up and saw a rabbit peeping through a small hole. The rabbit waved its paw at Jay. He smiled and waved to the rabbit.
  “Hello Mr. Rabbit,” Jay said.
  “Hello my friend,” said Mr. Coney.

 

(Thank you very much for helping me, Kim.)
 

asked Feb 04 '11 at 16:59 Noel Jones New member

1 answer


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Here's a quick, (very) minor rewrite:

 

The cat bat lowered its wings, tilted its head a little to the right and looked at Jay. The savage creature licked the saliva from its mouth and stood on its back paws.
Suddenly, more cats’ eyes appeared in the bushes, and Jay crept away slowly. The cat bat sank its claws into the tree trunk. It ran head first into the tall ferns and expand its wings.
“Meow!” it roared as saliva dripped from its mouth. Jay grabbed his canvas bag and ran as fast as he could. Moreover, the cat bat chased him.
Jay pushed himself through a small crevice at the foot of a tree. The fierce leopard became enraged and banged itself on the tree trunk. Then, the black cat pushed its head through a narrow opening and snapped at Jay. Jay curled up among the tree roots that anchored in the soil as the beast tried to force itself through the little hole. Eventually, the cat bat gave up and walked away from the tree where Jay was hiding.
Jay crawled through a cave, gripping the moist soil as he went along. The tunnel hindered him from turning left or right. He crawled through the hole that ended with two separate tunnels. Jay stopped and wondered. Which hole he should crawl through?
“I'm lost,” he said to himself.
“Where are you going?” said a squeaky voice.
He looked up and saw a rabbit peeping through a small hole. The rabbit waved its paw at Jay. He smiled and waved to the rabbit.
“Hello Mr. Rabbit,” Jay said.
“Hello my friend,” said Mr. Coney, the rabbit.

link comment answered Feb 07 '11 at 16:46 Ryan Gray New member

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