I would like suggestions for a great thesis statement on "Is privacy in the 21st century possible"
Privacy in the 21st century will affect every human beings life as we know it in the future.
Privacy is a state of being free from public attention. It does not take any action that affects people. Instead, you probably mean to discuss privacy laws, regulations, or policies. That distinction needs to be made.
The 21st century is now. When you refer to the future in the same sentence, it implies that you are talking about subsequent centuries. That takes your paper into the realm of science fiction. I would drop the reference to the 21st century and go with something like “changes to current (or recent changes in, or new) privacy laws.”
“Every human being’s life” needs an apostrophe. However, it feels a little over the top to me, still in that science fiction writing realm. “Life as we know it” does imply that we are talking about human beings. Once we say that something will affect life as we know it, we know we are talking about the future. Saying “in the future” is now redundant.
Changes to current privacy laws will affect life as we know it.
This sentence says everything you said in your sentence, but it doesn’t contain much information. A strong thesis statement will summarize the main argument for the paper which will follow. It is usually at the end of the first paragraph and can be one or two sentences. This sentence seems more like an opening sentence that introduces the general topic of privacy laws. Your thesis statement needs to add more detail.
|link comment||answered Jan 12 '13 at 11:19 Patty T Grammarly Fellow|
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