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Please I do not understand what is wrong with my sentence

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Moreover, Mrs. Johnson feels like "Dee is lighter then Maggie, with nicer hair and a fuller figure" ), because as Dee is educated and living in the big city, she can easily afford for the new style of living in order to forget her African American origin and to hide her origin, she had changed her name to Wangero Leewanika Kemanjo, where as otherhand Maggie, living in countryside, an uneducated, has limited herself to the house helping her mother.
asked May 24 '11 at 23:54 bhavik New member

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Moreover, Mrs. Johnson feels like "Dee is lighter then Maggie, with nicer hair and a fuller figure", because as Dee is educated and living in the big city, and she can easily afford a new style of living to forget her African American origin. To hide her origin, Dee even changed her name from Wangero Leewanika Kemanjo.  In comparison, Maggie, living in countryside and uneducated, has limited herself to the house helping her mother.

 

-- Tips:

 

-- You need to study and practice avoiding run-on sentences.  When a thought ends, that is when you need a comma + and/or/but OR you need a period.

 

-- Also, pay some attention to your verb choice and try not to use words you don't understand because you'll make mistakes with use and dependent prepositions.

link comment answered May 25 '11 at 16:25 Kimberly Expert

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