Please review words in bold. Am I inconsistent? Is everyone OK? Is the article necessary "a"

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Hannah lived in the day when the Judges ruled Israel, a time when everyone did as they saw fit. 

In those days, a childless woman was considered a failure and a social disgrace. 

 

 

Or should I use:

In that day, a childless woman was considered a failure and social disgrace.

asked Dec 28 '12 at 14:21 Susan New member

1 answer


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For the second sentence, the first way is best.  You would say either "in those days" or "at that time".  Using "a failure and a social disgrace" is a proper use of parallel structure.  

 

Use of "everyone" in the first sentence is a little casual and vague.  You might use the phrase "all people" or possibly be more specific: are you talking about Israelites only?  If so, then the sentence would benefit from more specificity.  If the sentence is supposed to encompass Israelites as well as people surrounding them, you could say "Israelites and their contemporaries."   Hope this helps.

link comment answered Dec 28 '12 at 14:36 HettyKing New member

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