URGENT! URGENT!! Please help me by correcting the grammer mistakes in my short story.

-2


1:00PM
21/12/2012

The song playing now is Akon's 'Freedom' and at the lyrics are at 'freeeeedom'.

I have been sitting before my four-year old pc for more than an hour.
'I should start' I think.
'But what?'
'I don't know but I should'.
So many vague thoughts are just moving in my mind like shapeless clouds. Shapeless and vague clouds that's the perfect expression to define my mind now.

I have been thinking about writing a short story for the competetion in my office. But I can't make a theme. I am thinking and thinking but the progress is still zero. Should I stop attempting it? 'No', then what should I write? 'I don't know' ,  my innervoice always replies very quickly.

I touch the keyboard. I have taken off my hand.
I touch it again. Looking at it intensly I type the word 'FEAR' as the name of story in the center of the page.


FEAR


Keeping my hands there I look at the light which is just glowing like everyday.

'What should I write?' my innervoice asks me again.
'..' , No reply from either my inner and outer voices.

'Okay, I am starting' I say it aloud.

 


"How long I should wait here? It's been more than one hour", thought the old man in white dress.

" Till we get a sight of human vehicle", replied another man in white dress.

"Do you have any idea why we are still here?", asked first man.

" To accomplish the things which we are in pending", replied another man.

" But why here? waiting for someone and make them scared? why?"

" 'cause we should do that. That's what I have learnt about our ancestors".

" You should remember that we were humans"

" we were, not we are"

The first man gave a high gasp and walked on to the road. Looking at another man, asked

" I think we should go and do our works early. There is no need to scare them and I don't like this ".

" This is also our work man, It's a part of our job", pleaded another.

" Do you know what they will call us?", asked first man.

" Spirits", replied another man quickly.

" That's is for me and They will call you a ghost",shouted the first man and started walking along the road. " I am leaving you ghost, I don't want to be on this earth anymore. Good luck with your little pranks", he added.

 

 

Well, I have written some lines whether they are good or bad that doesn't matter I have written something. I sigh.

I keep my hands again on the keyboard. I am typing again.

The white man walked more than dozen steps and looked back. He did a deep search of that place with his burning eyes. There was no sign of another man there.

What's that?
The power is gone, the light goes off.

I am not moving not even my eyeballs. It is just playing Statue and I became like a real statue.

I can't see anything now but before that I have seen something.
Something like a man behind me. I am scared now. What was it? Is it still there?

I am slowly moving my face. I can't see anything in that dark. Was that the another man in my story? That means a ghost? A strong shivering passes through me.

But, But I don't belive ghosts. So that's not a ghost. Then what it would be? God? I don't belive in villain so there is no reason for a hero to be existed.

Any another person? No chance. I have been sitting here for any hour and it's not humanly possible to walk without making any noise and come behind me. Then? ALIEN?

Today is 21st,'Dooms day'. 'Oh my god ghost me, I belive Aliens'
Is that Alien?

Yes, may be, it looks like a human. If I am not wrong it has two hands, two legs and more importantly one head. Yes exaclty.

Is it come here to end the world? Save the world?

But it is in my room. Means , it came to save me? Ohh.
But like in movies it doesn't have a spaceship or any vehicle. It just quietly enters  my room and appears to me.

Do they have space for my friends and family? If they really came here to save me , I should request them to take my family and friends and their family and their friends along with me.Do they accept my request. I will beg them and I will tell them my 'FEAR' story.If they don't like? okay, it doesn't work. I will just beg them without showing my story.

The light goes on. I look at the light and take a long breath. I just now realize breath gives you oxygen and braveness. I move my head slowly like a snake. I can see the creature now. It's also sitting same as me. I am looking at it and it is looking at, I don't know where shadows look at. I am disappointed, it is not an alien not even a god or a ghost just me. Not even me, just my shadow the most helpless creature than me.

1 answer


1

You've come to the wrong place, Sandeep.  Grammarly Answers is a public forum for discussion about grammar.  The participants here are not employees.  We do not provide a service such as editing or proofreading.  Additionally, since this is a discussion forum, there is no sense of urgency here.  People show up when the mood strikes them. 

 

Grammarly has various online software products that may help you.  Check out the links at the bottom of the page. 

link comment answered Dec 21 '12 at 19:27 Patty T Grammarly Fellow

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