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Having spent five years as a teaching assistant at Carleton University I have acquired valuable experience in lecturing, managing, counselling, tutoring and assessing the work of undergraduate students. In addition to the various introductory level courses in the area of political theory my workload has also covered a wide range of more advance topics related to the political and intellectual history of the western world. As reflected through my studies at the graduate level, my scholastic training is broad and encompasses a number of the various areas that fall under the heading of political philosophy. My master’s thesis examined the details of Alexandre Kojeve’s political thought and explored his account of the historical dialectic elaborated by Hegel and, to some degree, Marx. My doctoral dissertation compared Plato’s classical analysis of the origins of political order/disorder with the Christian analysis offered by Fyodor M. Dostoevsky. Working on such a diverse group of thinkers and themes has provided me with the opportunity to draw connections between the political philosophies of different historical periods and to convey elaborate thoughts clearly to an audience of student and/or academics. 

asked Feb 01 '11 at 22:35 John yzerman New member

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In addition to the various introductory level courses in the area of political theory my workload has also covered a wide range of more advance topics related to the political and intellectual history of the western world. 

This sentence is too long, put a comma between theory and my

link comment answered Feb 01 '11 at 23:32 Noel Jones New member
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John, 

SEE BELOW THE TEXT FOR EXPLANATIONS.

 

Having spent five years as a teaching assistant at Carleton University (,) I have acquired valuable experience in lecturing, managing, counselling, tutoring and assessing the work of undergraduate students. In addition to the various introductory level courses in the area of political theory(,) my workload has also covered a wide range of more advance(d) topics related to the political and intellectual history of the western world. As reflected through my studies at the graduate level, my scholastic training is broad and encompasses a number of the various areas that fall under the *heading of political philosophy. My master’s thesis examined the details of Alexandre Kojeve’s political thought and explored his account of the historical dialectic elaborated by Hegel and, to some degree, Marx. My doctoral dissertation compared Plato’s classical analysis of the origins of political **order/disorder with the Christian analysis offered by Fyodor M. Dostoevsky. ##Working on such a diverse group of thinkers and themes has provided me with the opportunity to draw connections between the political philosophies of different historical periods and ~~to convey elaborate thoughts clearly to an audience of student and/or academics. 

 

You have a few errors here, some related to commas, which I have marked.  Anytime you have a clause that is introducing the sentence, you should use a comma.

 

 

Also, 'advance' is a noun.  You need the adjective, 'advanced' to describe the topics related to political and intellectual histroy of the western world.

 

If it's a heading, it should be capitalised. *

 

 

Try not to use slashes in professional writing.  Usually a slash stands in for 'and' or 'or'.  Use one of these words instead.**

 

 

Perhaps you could choose another verb; 'Working on . . . thinkers' sounds strange.  Good alternatives include: 'study', 'analyse', or 'researching'.  You may also consider making the object 'thinkers' more clear.  Did you study the 'thinkers' themselves or their ideas/philosophies? ##

 

 

Finally, it isn't clear from what you've written how studying all of these things has actually made you better at conveying information.  Did studying these themes make you better or was it your practice as a TA?  Be sure that you make that clear. ~~

 

I hope this helps.

 

Kim

link comment edited Feb 02 '11 at 13:46 Kimberly Expert

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